Jason hated winter. To be precise, he could not bear that his daughter Nancy never threw away dried snapdragons all winter. Nancy was a fervent gardener, and her favorite garden flower of all was snapdragon. As Jason’s hideout was situated in the middle of nowhere, the garden Nancy kept did not blend in with the mostly bare meadows. From spring to summer, their garden would bloom in its full splendor with red, violet, white, and apricot snapdragons. The view Jason and Nancy had was mostly monotonous in terms of colors but for her snapdragons. When in full bloom, Nancy hoarded them, leaving them on the top of the bookcase. Then she would start decorating the house around Christmas time by hanging them upside down anywhere she could find. They stayed there well into February, in the same manner some dysfunctional families keep their Christmas trees until too late.
Jason did not hate the snapdragons when they were staying in the garden. He did not hate them for a few weeks after they entered his house either. He would start to hate them once Nancy hung them. In December, the snapdragons had all been well dried, sucked out of their colors and vivacity. Whenever he noticed them over his head, he felt chill running down his spine.
“Can we try different decorations this Christmas?” Jason gently nudged Nancy. “Daddy could drive to the town and buy some stuffs that you would like, my sunshine.” Nancy was working with what was remaining of her garden under the gray November sky. It was the indefinite time of the year, no longer autumn and not yet winter. Nancy did not answer. She had been mostly speechless for many years since she was eleven.
Jason pondered for a moment whether he should tell her that the dried snapdragons looked like the small yellowish skulls of premature fetuses. He decided not to. He did not want to show her that mere dried flowers could scare him. Deep down, he knew that he should scare, not be scared, to keep Nancy with her.
“You listen when your father talks.” Jason kicked Nancy from her back, though gently. Nancy was a girl whom he deeply loved, after all. She fell to the ground, her face in the dust. Dusk was falling on the earth and Nancy’s bottom. Jason heard Sue, his wife, laughing from inside. She must have been looking at them through the window.
That night, Jason woke up to find Sue’s hand slipping down into his pants. He violently pushed her away. She stumbled and knocked down a beer can on the floor. A cigarette butt sprang out of the can along with dark ooze. Jason sank back into his couch and watched Sue sob. The next moment, Sue broke into Nancy’s room and dragged her out. Nancy screamed.
“You did this to me, whore! You!” Sue groaned, pulling Nancy’s hair.
Jason grudginly took a key out of his pocket. He slowly unlocked the drawer next to the couch and grabbed the revolver in it. Nancy began to cry. He pulled the trigger, pointing the revolver at the ceiling. There was no bullet in the chamber. Sue jumped and reached for a chair. She was about to throw it at Nancy. Jason pulled again.
The gunshot roared throughout the house. Sue dropped the chair. Jason pointed the gun at her.
“I am your wife, not this whore!” Sue shouted in protest.
“Then listen to your man. Out. Now.”
He did not put his revolver back into the drawer until Sue opened the door and went out. The night was not as cold as Jason expected. It was no wonder that a few snapdragons were remaining in Nancy’s garden. He locked the door, leaving Sue outside. She would be fine by herself for a few hours.
Jason wiped tears off Nancy’s face. He lifted her up in his arms. She felt heavier than before. Jason could see that her belly had become bigger.
“Don’t be scared. Daddy’s here for you, and he loves you.” Jason gave Nancy his words of comfort as he entered her room, still holding her. He put Nancy down on her bed and lay next to her. She was looking numbly into the ceiling, where dried snapdragons would hang in about a month. He gently stroked her arm.
“This time, you won’t have to bury the baby in the garden, okay? Daddy will keep his promise, my sunshine. I swear.”
As he moved closer to his daughter, he briefly thought of the dried snapdragons that looked like little skulls. He would still have to deal with them this winter. However, starting from next year, he might not get scared by them unless another miscarriage should happen. They might stop looking like the skulls of underdeveloped fetuses. As long as the baby survived, Nancy would one day open up to him again. Then Jason’s family might become normal again, even with normal Christmas decorations.
Jason closed his eyes and inhaled slowly. He knew he had enough time to be alone with his daughter.
This flash fiction was written thanks to
. He gave me the word “snapdragon”, and I wrote a story about it.If you enjoyed my work, you can buy me a cup of tea. I am not a coffee person, by the way.
This is insanely dark and deeply disturbing Hyun Woo Kim. Definitely not for everyone to just read but unfortunately, it depicts part of real life. I love the symbolism. I often use them too.
Yikes! Disturbing but engaging!